View From Heaven
by Chikin Wang
Summary: [Complete] It's the summer after Sirius died and Harry's having trouble adjusting to life without his godfather. It's my first songfic, so please R&R!


4/17: Okay, I published this thing ages ago, but I was going through all my unpublished work (that i have get to finish) and I kinda stumbled upon this. Anyway, so I read through it and realized how I messed up a bit with the song and the whole story. So I actually went, and edited it. Yay me! That's gotta be the first ever! Note to self: go back and read over stuff before publishing them online...or turn them into the teachers.  
  
Right, um. I guess enjoy reading it...again, for, what, four of you? Man, i _ am _ a loser. ^___________________^  
  
~*~   
  
(original intro thing)  
  
Okay, this is one of those kinda sorta weird song fics where you just have to write it down or you'll regret it...or something like that. Anyway, it's a song by this band called Yellowcard. If you've never heard of them, i suggest you to and buy the CD 'coz it's REALLY good. Okay. BTW, this is my first songfic, so don't kill me or anything.   
  
Disclaimer: (don't you just hate these things?) For God's sake, I don't own Harry Potter OR Yellowcard. Jeez, you must be a group of very strange people to think that I even have enough intelligence to own them. There.   
  
~*~  
  
_View From Heaven..._  
  
Harry Potter looked around the room with a mixture of anger and hate. He was staying at the Leaky Cauldron for the remainder of the summer along with Ron and Ginny Weasley, and Hermione Granger, since the Weasleys and the rest of the Wizarding World were too busy to care about them. Fred and George, the Weasley twins, had volunteered to look after them, but Harry didn't care. If Sirius was still there, he would be with him. In the dark, gloomy house, yes, but still. They would be together.  
  
Harry had changed a lot over the last month. He couldn't help but remember his friends' shocked expressions when they picked him up earlier that day. Ron said that he looked as if he had aged a whole ten years, Hermione asked if he was all right, and Ginny didn't comment at all. The three had steered clear of him all day because he was still dealing with Sirius's death.  
  
Music started to play from a neighboring room.   
  
_I'm just so tired  
  
Won't you sing me to sleep  
  
And fly through my dreams  
  
So I can hitch a ride with you tonight  
  
And get away from this place  
  
Have a new name and face  
  
I just ain't the same without you tonight  
  
_ Harry slowly walked over to his bed and stared down at it. He _was_ tired, but everytime he closed his eyes, the image or Sirius slowly falling through the veil filled the darkness. He couldn't remember the last time he had a proper night's sleep.  
  
_Late night drives  
  
All alone in my car  
  
I can't help but start  
  
Singin' lines from our favorite songs  
  
And melodies in the air  
  
Singin' life just ain't fair.  
  
Sometimes I can't believe you're gone  
  
_ He reached into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a bunch of ragged, well-worn rolls of parchment. There were only about a dozen, all from Sirius. Harry had read them practically everyday since the last day of his O.W.L.s. He felt as if he had to read them for something to hold on to. Something to keep him from breaking down and crying in front of everyone.  
  
_And I'm sure the view from heaven  
  
Beats the hell out of mine here  
  
And if we all believe in heaven  
  
Maybe we'll make it through one more year  
  
Down here  
  
_ Harry put the packet of parchment on the desk next to his bed. A small breeze from the open window caused the ragged edges to flutter a bit. He crossed the room and looked up at the dark sky. He felt that if he left the window of the room he was in open, he would be a little closer to Sirius. Just a little.  
  
_I feel your fire when it's cold in my heart  
  
And things sort of start  
  
Reminding me of my last night with you  
  
I need one more day  
  
Just one more chance to say  
  
I wish I had gone up with you  
  
_ Anger started to seethe through him. Why? Why did he have to go for Voldemort's bait? Why couldn't he have a normal life for once? Why didn't he listen to Hermione when he had the chance? Why did he have to go and listen to that scumbag, Kreacher? Why, why, why did he have to forget that Snape was also in the Order? Harry grabbed the window sill and held it with all his might, trying to keep from exploding by attempting to transfer his anger into the wood.  
  
_And I'm sure the view from heaven  
  
Beats the hell out of mine here  
  
And if we all believe in heaven  
  
Maybe we'll make it through one more year  
  
Down here  
  
_ The cloud floated away from the moon. The dark alley in the back was suddenly drenched with moonlight. As quickly as it came, the anger disappeared again. It was just like that: a ghost, waiting to posses him. To make him angry and emotionless. To blind him with those red spots. To make him want to break things, yell at people...to hurt the people that cared about him.  
  
_ You won't be coming back  
  
And I didn't get to say goodbye  
  
I really wish I got to say goodbye  
  
_ The lyrics were somehow burned into Harry's mind. The nerve of that person to sing that. He started for the door, but halfway there, he stopped. It was true. Sirius was never going to come back and he never said goodbye. There were hundreds of times when he could have, but he didn't. He had known that Sirius was gone, but he never did admit it. Not even to himself. A lump, a very large lump started to edge up his throat. He tried to just swallow it away, but that seemed to make it com up even faster. Giant hacking sobs filled him as he sank to the floor.  
  
_I hope all is well in heaven  
  
'Cause it's all shot to hell down here  
  
I hope that I find you in heaven  
  
'Cause I'm lost without you down here.  
  
_ He had never cried like this before. They had all be silent with just a dozen or so tears. Then again, he had never admitted it. Harry ripped off his glasses and cried into his knees. All the anger and hate that he had kept bottled up came spewing out in wet, body racking sobs.  
  
_And I'm sure the view from heaven  
  
Beats the hell out of mine here  
  
And if we all believe in heaven  
  
Maybe we'll make it through one more year  
  
Down here  
  
_ Everything was spinning out of his control. Way more out of control than before. He had lost everything. His mother. His father. The closest thing he has ever had to a parent... Oh, how he hated his life.   
  
_You won't be coming back  
  
And I didn't get to say goodbye  
  
I really wish I got to say goodbye  
  
_ Voices muffled by the wall spoke and the music stopped. Minutes passed and Harry's crying slowly subsided. He wiped his tear-stained glasses, expecting the emptiness to return. Instead of the painful isolated feeling, there was something else. He didn't know what it was. It didn't feel like the aching pain from before, nor did it feel like relief, wonderful, blissful relief. Then, as he looked at the rolls of parchment, he know what it was. The deep wound in his heart was slowly healing, but he knew it would never be whole ever again. The ghost had left...and so had most of the hate.  
  
Harry slowly got up and paced toward the window at an equally slow pace. The stars gazed down at him sympathetically as another cloud masked the moon, causing the pool of moonlight to disappear. Harry slowly looked up at the sky and then he quickly drew the curtains. But he still left the window open for Hedwig.   
  
He crossed the room and looked down at the now welcoming bed. Harry kicked off his old tennis shoes and fell on the bed. He fell asleep so quickly, he didn't even notice that the vision of Sirius falling had now been replaced with the one of him diving from the table on Harry's first night at Number 12, Grimmauld Place.  
  
~*~  
  
Ha ha! Done!! Okay, review. The lyrics are kinda good, aren't they? Actually, Senses Fail is loads more emo, but Yellowcard has an electric violin, so...er, right. REVIEW, PLEASE!!!!   
  
Chikin Wang 


End file.
